I am absolutely delighted to be here at the North Melbourne Grand Final Breakfast.
One of the great institutions of Australian sport, it’s an amazing scene for me to see.
This is my first AFL Grand Final, and obviously my first Grand Final Breakfast.
And whilst I know that Victorians revere their AFL heroes, they mostly just tolerate their politicians.
So a huge thanks to the AFL community for allowing me and the acting PM to bask in your reflected glory.
Great also to have here Jess Wilson and Ben Carroll, of course.
As I said earlier, my electorate is in GWS territory in outer Western Sydney.
A place where playing AFL was once as rare as finding Liberal Party voters.
But that’s slowly changing.
Where I come from, a mark is what you get on a school test, a behind is what you sit on, and if 90,000 people start yelling out ‘ball’, well then eventually someone gives it to you.
So, as part of my education of AFL in recent days, I’ve been trying to better understand the holding the ball rule.
It’s all a bit of a mystery to me, but after last weekend’s preliminary finals, it’s good to know that Hawthorn fans don’t understand it either.
That might be a bit too soon for some.
Now it’s certainly been a big year for the AFL.
We’ve had the first wildcard round and I asked a few people to explain to me how it actually worked.
I have to say I am now even less clear on how it works.
Apparently you can finish 10th on the ladder and still be the premiers.
As someone who’s in politics, I probably shouldn’t encourage that sort of thing, but you know, given the polls, maybe I should.
A few weeks ago in Canberra I had the pleasure of meeting with North Melbourne’s CEO Jen Watt and gun midfielder George Wardlaw.
George was kind enough to present me with some North Melbourne merch.
A wonderful North Melbourne merch it was, a cap.
The cap already takes pride of place in my Parliament House office.
I won’t be dumping it at a Vinnies store in Hampton.
You know I shouldn’t be too rough on North Melbourne, they’re a few years into the rebuild.
They show a lot of promise.
They’re currently struggling against the orange team, a bit low on membership and definitely on the up.
So who knew that North Melbourne had the trajectory of the federal Liberal Party.
But it’s also great to see Andrew Dillon here.
You know, you can tell a lot about the AFL CEO by the music, the entertainment that they pick at the Grand Final.
And Andrew Demetriou will be remembered for Meat Loaf, not so good.
Gillon McLachlan, Kiss, that was alright. I rocked along with that one.
And Andrew Dillon, though is far more refined and sensitive than his predecessors and we all roared along with Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg.
But the biggest of them all today, hometown queen, Kylie Minogue.
Now Andrew you’ve absolutely outfoxed your competitor across the border, Peter V’landys.
The NRL halftime entertainment is apparently non-existent this year.
But at the MCG today we are going have a true blue global superstar.
Kylie Minogue is such a big star and the Prime Minister is such a big fan that he’s had to delay his return from New York.
Albo just can’t be trusted with melons or with Kylie.
But thank God Richard Marles is here to save the day, Richard, and it’s great to see you here today.
Ladies and gentlemen I know today is going be a great game.
Fremantle obviously chasing their first AFL premiership, Brisbane hoping for three in a row.
It’s hard to pick a winner.
I know I’m about to lose votes on this, I think I did it earlier.
I’m sticking with the Lions by 10.
Good to see some supporters there.
And why can’t Will Ashcroft go three in a row for the Norm Smith Medal.
I think he can do it.
But can I finish today by saying a big thank you to North Melbourne, to Jen Watt, Sonja Hood, this breakfast has been an institution for decades.
It’s a tribute to you Jen and Sonja.
And it’s been going strong for 60 years I understand since the pioneering days of Allen Aylett.
It brings together people who play the game, people who run the game, people who commentate the game, and in my case people who are still trying to understand the game.
But let’s remember it’s days like these that we see we have far more in common than we have differences.
And Australian sport is all about that.
Because let’s face it we live in the greatest country on earth and I’m going say it, this is the greatest game in the world.
So good luck to Freo, good luck to Brisbane, happy Grand Final day.
