Clinical psychologist, Professor Lynne McCormack shares information to help individuals and the community understand grief and trauma following the tragic bus crash in the Hunter Valley.
In recent days, those in the Hunter Region have been shocked by the tragic loss of life and injury to many friends and family members travelling home from the joyous celebration of a wedding. It has touched a community. Horrific events resulting in death and injury to members of a community, are typically unexpected, sudden, and overwhelming. For many of us, there is an emotional toll as we try to make sense of these events. It takes time to adjust to our feelings, thoughts, and behaviours that are triggered by such events, and begin to engage with life again.
Initially, following a disaster, people frequently feel stunned, disoriented, or unable to integrate distressing information. This slowly gives way to other responses which may leave any of us feeling anxious, nervous, even grief-stricken. You may also feel more irritable or moody than usual. Those who were involved in an accident may experience repetitive images of events while those who were not present may experience imaginative thoughts that are disturbing. These memories may occur for no apparent reason and may lead to physical reactions such as rapid heartbeat or sweating. It may be difficult to concentrate or make decisions. Sleep and eating patterns also can be disrupted for a time. Sirens, loud noises, smells, or other environmental sensations may stimulate memories of the disaster creating heightened anxiety. These “triggers” may be accompanied by fears that the stressful event will be repeated. Importantly, these are normal responses to abnormal events and in time most settle, and we accept that life is unpredictable, and re-engage with our lives. Using rituals for mourning and remembering those we loved or cared for in some special way help us re-engage.
However, grief and loss often lead to growth in that we often become wiser, kinder, and more empathic towards others and value others as we recover. In the days and weeks following traumatic events try including the following in your daily life:
- Give yourself time to adjust. As this is a difficult time in your life, allow yourself to mourn the changes, losses, and sadness you have experienced and try to be patient with changes in yours and others’ emotional states.
- Ask for support from people who care about you and who will listen and empathise with your situation. Social support is a key component to disaster recovery. Family and friends can be an important resource. For those directly affected, find support and common ground from those who have also survived the disaster. For others not directly involved but impacted, reach out to others similarly impacted and provide support to each other.
- Talk about your experience. Express what you are feeling in whatever way feels comfortable for you such as talking with family or close friends, keeping a diary, or engaging in a creative activity (e.g., drawing, gardening, music). When its time, other rituals in the broader community may help those closely affected by the traumatic events.
- Seek healthy behaviours during this time of sadness. Take time to eat well and rest. If you experience ongoing difficulties with sleep, you may find some relief through relaxation techniques. Avoid alcohol and drugs as a way of coping as they will act as a numbing diversion that could delay adjusting to your body’s responses to grief.
- Get back to routine. This may feel disrespectful to those you are missing but regular meals, sleep and waking, or simple and regular life cycles keep you from becoming unwell during a grieving time.
- Time for yourself. Go for walks, it’s a good time to think and remember the good times as well as the pain of loss. Sometimes, doing positive things may trigger feelings of guilt however, positive routines during these distressing times, like pursuing a hobby, walking through a park, or playing games can be a time for taking good memories of loved ones with you.
- Avoid making major life decisions. Normally stressful decisions like changing careers or jobs and other important decisions are even harder to take on when you’re recovering from a disaster. Where possible make those decisions once your grief has settled.
When should I seek professional help?
Following a critical and life-changing event, individuals often struggle to regain a sense of normalcy and safety, which can interfere with daily life and even impact their mental wellbeing. In the first few weeks following a disaster, feelings of distress, hopelessness and sadness may persist. For some who were close to lost ones, a sense of loneliness and how to move forward can endure. Grief is individual. There is no prescriptive time. In fact, grief will continue to touch you throughout your life especially when there are triggers like anniversaries, smells, sounds, or places. This is normal and sometimes welcome as we remember the people who have touched our lives.
However, some people struggle to get back to a life that is now different, and it can help us all to talk to a psychologist particularly as those around us start to move on with their lives. Psychologists are trained to help people reflect on emotional reactions to disaster such as disbelief, stress, anxiety, and grief and take steps to re-engage with life again.
For first responders at the forefront of each disaster, many find support from their peers through critical incident stress debriefing, a process of sharing, building resilience and strategies for dealing with levels of high stress repetitively. Self-care plays an important role in longevity of their careers as they support us and we support them in return. Similarly, the support of psychologists from time to time can be invaluable to their wellbeing.
Professor Lynne McCormack, of the University of Newcastle, is a clinical psychologist. This article was originally published in the Newcastle Herald.
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