In 2022, Carol ‘Caz’ McAlea was leading a life like many Australian women in their early 50s.
She was doing her best to balance family and work, while also staying healthy in between.
But three days before Caz was due to visit her mother in the UK, that life was all flipped upside down.
Caz was told by her doctor, that three tumours were found in her bladder.
Seemingly innocent symptoms lead to something sinister
Thinking back to before her diagnosis, Caz says “I started to get a UTI (urinary tract infection) which I’d never experienced before.” But due to her age, it was overlooked as a menopausal symptom.
A few months later, she was experiencing excessive tiredness, severe back pain, headaches and brain fog – all symptoms of menopause, but also bladder cancer.
Like many women her age, Caz says she knew very little about what menopause looked like.
“I relied heavily on information from friends, sound bites in social media and myths about just having to deal with it”, says Caz.
Nine months after her symptoms first started, Caz was admitted to hospital when her back pain became too much to bear.
Weeks later, she would be told that she had bladder cancer.
Shifting her mindset with joyful pursuits
It’s been a long road since that pivotal moment, and Caz recalls “my whole world came crashing down.”
“The uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis flips your life on its head, and fractures everything into tiny little pieces” she adds.
Caz sought advice and called Cancer Council’s 13 11 20 Information and Support line to help her manage her mental health while navigating cancer – something Caz noticed was difficult to find.
Caz says, “mental health is so important for cancer patients, because fear is completely debilitating, it stops you from doing anything, stops everything in its tracks.”
A simple technique that Caz has adopted involves, “joyful pursuits, like walking with friends in nature, I’ve joined a choir, I’ve started to learn to play a musical instrument.”
For Caz, it’s important “being very mindful as to what stresses me out and staying away from it, or dealing with it in a gentle way”.
Finding support through hosting a morning tea
In early 2023, Caz hosted an Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea that meant a lot to her, inviting more than 40 family members and friends.
In Caz’s words, “every person who attended had been personally touched by cancer in some shape or form.”
Above all else, Caz explains her experience of hosting an Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea as something that provided another form of support.
“It has been part of my acceptance of living with cancer, it symbolises me being well enough to hold an event, especially after recognising that when you get cancer, you can’t do it all, so you need to let people help; and being a very independent person, this was a big thing for me to come to terms with”, says Caz.
She adds, “by hosting the Biggest Morning Tea, I was able to show people I’m doing well, and thank everyone. It was a beautiful occasion.”
To host your own ABMT, please visit Biggestmorningtea.com.au
